are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
