He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
