Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize