isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
