she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
