I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im holly from the hills drunk
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
