We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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