at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
