i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
