Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
