don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
