I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
