you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
