Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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