I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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