Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
