OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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