I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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