it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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