So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
