Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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