The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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