Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
