one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
