im having a threesome with these popsicles
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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