It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
