This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
