I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
