I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
