my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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