I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
