this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
