How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
