He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
