you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize
