She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
