if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
