Your face is a jimmy john
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
