Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
