the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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