so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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