so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
