i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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