just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
