i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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