I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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