It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
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I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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