I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
