Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
