You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize