So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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