I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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