oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
