And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My life is pants optional.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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