so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
