i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
